We are back from honeymoon and now that 2019 has begun to find its groove, I have some spare time to blog again… and finally get to share some of the significance of the details and elements of the Big Day.
Honestly, we planned the wedding in 2 weeks and I think what surprised most people was how easily I delegated the creative aspects to people I trust wholeheartedly – but more about that in the next blog. So, for the majority of the engagement process, we focused on preparing for Marriage – and not just any marriage, we wanted a Kingdom Marriage: a marriage that was God-created and could be used to encourage others and further His Kingdom. That’s how I have always lived my life, and I couldn’t imagine not expecting the same for my marriage. So as much as weddings are fun and filled with pretty things, that was never our focus. We were looking beyond at living out the covenant between us as husband and wife, with God at the centre.
Just as He has done throughout our Love Story, Holy Spirit lead Chris along our path. Chris and his wife Louise oversaw our marriage prep and have become so special to us and we really value their input in our lives. So when our original ‘choice’ for marriage officiant fell through, I knew it was Holy Spirit opening the door for Chris to not only preach (as originally intended), but do the entire service. It was his first wedding, which was great because we were doing it for the first time too and could be newbies together! He asked if there was something we wanted specifically mentioned in the sermon and again, I felt Holy Spirit say, nope He would give Chris the message.
And wow, did Holy Spirit speak to Chris! Below is Chris’ sermon – he knocked it out of the park and honestly captured so much of what Garth and I had spoken about during our engagement (at home on the couch with tea) and what we aspired to and even the challenges and battles we had faced. It was such a beautiful confirmation from God that this marriage is His Plan and His Best for both of us – and His fingerprints are all over this.
There are lots of people who state they know Christ and live a life for him and with him that are in fact not really doing so… When Jesus is Lord of your life there is an order and a pattern that is seen… Fruits appear. Not rotten, disgusting fruits like fear, deception or irritability but life, patience, self control and kindness.. the gifts found in Galatians 5
When Jesus is Lord of our life we have purpose and passion.. we see this world as an interlude to our eternal destines and make decisions which have a reach far outside of this temporary time..
Matthew 28 we are told to make disciples – our life’s work is to help others see and feel and know what we have experienced so that eternity is set of them
When Jesus is Lord of our life we are changed / we think differently, act differently and look at the world differently as we read in Romans 12. “Don’t copy the behavior and customs of this world, but let God transform you into a new person by changing the way you think. Then you will learn to know God’s will for you, which is good and pleasing and perfect.”
Romans 12:2 NLT
When Jesus is Lord of our life we speak the word of God and live what we say.
“But don’t just listen to God’s word. You must do what it says. Otherwise, you are only fooling yourselves. For if you listen to the word and don’t obey, it is like glancing at your face in a mirror. You see yourself, walk away, and forget what you look like. But if you look carefully into the perfect law that sets you free, and if you do what it says and don’t forget what you heard, then God will bless you for doing it.”
James 1:22-25 NLT
When we live as kingdom people we have a king – we are obedient to His ways even when we don’t agree, we follow His decrees even if our flesh desperately wants a different answer and acknowledge that our life is not our own but we are owned by Him whom created us and forms us.
Zechariah and many Old Testament words prophesy Jesus coming and they even mention his donkey that he rides in Matthew. 21… Jesus is the long awaited messiah and king who will lead us into glory
Lauren and Garth – many of us have walked with you for years or months but we all witness two people who love God and honour Him as I have described above today. It is the journey you made as single people that qualifies you for today. Two people who do not know God or love according to His pattern would not be able to build the kind of kingdom marriage that God is looking for or desires.
You still have a responsibility to each other to do the work that has been described today – your salvation and walking it out remains yours to do but now you have to include and acknowledge each others spiritual journey. Your past and single life whilst coming to an end today has equipped you for what is to come..
So what are you doing today?
You are making the second biggest decision of your life after following Christ. This is the only decision and relationship that you take with you for the whole of your life apart from Christ. Many people in this room will come and go over the next 60 years but the person standing in front of you and the person of Jesus in your heart remains.
Today is a decision to give up the ability to say “me”, “mine “ and replace with “we”, and “ours”.
Today is a covenant that states you will be with each other until the end of your lives.. it’s not a contract of obligation which has terms and an end date and get out clauses. This is a total surrender of privilege, rights and independence to pledge a lifetime to each other. It is a covenant that God ordains and joins together. Your old life and person dies today and is replaced by this new creation of Mr and Mrs Wild.
Today is a decision which states who will be with you until the end / regardless of difficulties, pain, heartache or joy – until the end of days it will remain the two of you joined together that only God can separate.
Today begins your kingdom marriage so what does that look like?
Firstly – A kingdom marriage Has a King – that is our Lord Jesus
- he is the ruler of your marriage and it’s ways and purposes
- He is the ultimate ruler and determines your steps
- “Trust in the Lord with all your heart; do not depend on your own understanding. Seek his will in all you do, and he will show you which path to take.”
- Proverbs 3:5-6 NLT
A kingdom marriage has a heirachy
- Jesus is the King of your lives and marriage
- Garth is the head of the home as he submits to Jesus
- Lauren submits to Garth as he submits to Christ
- Children shall follow
This is the pattern that God ordained in Ephesians 5 and is the pattern of a kingdom marriage. Everything flows from God and His kingship. For wives this does not mean that they can’t work, will have every decision made for them or must be silent – but rather it says follow your husband as He follows Christ. Husbands our mandate is clear – love our wives as Christ loved the church… sacrificial, all encompassing, removing all self interest and without condition.
Submitting to a man like that is simple.
The king decides the purpose
- To bring God glory and live in unity as one
- As man and woman we were created in his image to multiply the earth and take care of it to give him glory
- Our great commission still stands to both raise disciples and to make disciples to advance his kingdom
The king decides the rules
- Just as with our relationship with him he has given us clarity in living for him
- The bible gives clarity on how to live and love for him on the earth
- Read the road together, pray together and grow in wisdom so that your lives are in tune with his commands
The kingdom has an enemy
- The battle you have to build and have a kingdom marriage is not a natural one but spiritual – fight in the spirit
- “A final word: Be strong in the Lord and in his mighty power. Put on all of God’s armor so that you will be able to stand firm against all strategies of the devil. For we are not fighting against flesh-and-blood enemies, but against evil rulers and authorities of the unseen world, against mighty powers in this dark world, and against evil spirits in the heavenly places. Therefore, put on every piece of God’s armor so you will be able to resist the enemy in the time of evil. Then after the battle you will still be standing firm. Stand your ground, putting on the belt of truth and the body armor of God’s righteousness. For shoes, put on the peace that comes from the Good News so that you will be fully prepared. In addition to all of these, hold up the shield of faith to stop the fiery arrows of the devil. Put on salvation as your helmet, and take the sword of the Spirit, which is the word of God. Pray in the Spirit at all times and on every occasion. Stay alert and be persistent in your prayers for all believers everywhere.”
- Ephesians 6:10-18 NLT
The king equips his people
- just as in kingdoms the kings would have armies and spike train and equip
- In 1 Corinthians 12 and Ephesians 4, we read that we are given gifts inside each one of us..
- you see marriage of two sinful people trying to make a life together is impossible but two redeemed, sanctified and equipped people bonded in marriage can do immeasurably more than we could hope or imagine..
So Lauren and Garth the covenant you make today is ordained by God and only made possible to do by Him. Hold onto your God. Listen to Him and obey His voice as you do married life together..
Then at the end you will hear “well done my good and faithful servant”
– Chris Berry