Doing Singleness Well

Up until my little revelation 5 minutes ago, I have always hated the question, “what’s your greatest achievement?” I never knew what to say – I managed to complete a 12km run? How lame. So want to know my new answer? Here it is:

I did Singleness well.

Thrilling, right? It may not be as exciting as climbing mountains or completing epic races, but believe me, in my new season of Married – it has served me better than any mountain top ever could. I used the time I had during my Season of Single, well.

I got married in my mid-thirties, so believe me, I had plenty of time and opportunity to get it wrong.  Never one to back off from a challenge worth facing, I chose Purity.  Not just of my body, but my heart too.

While others were chasing after the things of the world – or in Christian circles: giftings, callings and the things of His Kingdom, I chose to seek His Heart. I wanted to be Lost and Found in the King’s heart. I wanted to know what pleased Him – what He loved and what He didn’t.  I wanted both my life and my very being to be pleasing to Him. But that meant I had to change inwardly. Lots. I invited Jesus into my heart and asked Holy Spirit to do all that was necessary to work wholeness and healing within me. Was it easy? No… more like having open heart surgery wide awake and fully conscious. It was tough and sore – and felt like a continual cycle of victories and failures. But every victory brought me spoils and every failure was an opportunity to crawl back onto Daddy God’s lap and try again. I don’t just bear fruit from that season; I stand upon a solid foundation of roots sunk deep into Him.

Every step of my daily walk is determined by the unshakable certainty of my Identity in Jesus Christ and the Freedom (and Victory) He has bestowed upon me. I live in the very real, life-changing Truth of God’s Word and Spirit. If anything I face is not in alignment with those two, it must either be repented of and cast aside, or overcome.  I am single-minded in pursuing His Best for me. This isn’t me boasting; this is just me describing my approach to life – I am a freak, I know. But after a conversation with my husband this morning, I was reminded of how passionate I am about seeing Christians walk in the Fullness offered to them in Christ. Nothing infuriates me and breaks my heart like seeing Christians walk in brokenness. Our very healing and freedom should set us apart as God’s Redeemed!

So where am I going with this? If you find yourself in a season of Single; embrace it. Make a choice to use this time well – ask Holy Spirit to do a new working in your heart, mind and spirit. Be deliberate about finding Healing, and find someone to help you walk that healing out in your daily life. Bringing Brokenness into marriage makes a tough task that much harder.  You may not know your future spouse yet, but one day when you’re married you will face a moment when you can either say “I loved you enough to ask Holy Spirit to deal with my brokenness so that you wouldn’t have to” or…. you’re going to have to face your loved one and ask for mercy.  I pray they be gracious.

Loving well within marriage means preparing your heart – before you even meet the person. So what if you haven’t made the same life choices as me? Is it all too late? Not a chance.  God is loving and gracious, quick to forgive and restore.  There is nothing more powerful than God’s Redeeming Love. I pray your path on the Single Track may have more Victories and Adventures with Jesus than ever before; who knows what lies around the next corner?

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